[Lyekka's Tirm] [Escape]
    [Breakdown] русский оригинал
      This is NOT Kai!
Stan sits on the floor; cross-legged. He mumbls something quietly while reading papers. Zev twists and turns before the mirror. 790 gases silently at her with admiration. Suddenly Kai bursts in. He is affected and shakes sheets of paper in his hand; his hair-do is disordered.

KAI: They have done this again!
XEV(does not tear her eyes away from her image in the mirror): Pardon?
STAN(with his eyes pinned to his papers): Eh?
790 : Hehheh.
KAI : There are TWO cues for me!
XEV : So what?
790 : Hehheh.
KAI : Yes, I am dead, but I am not just a meat in a refrigerator! I have to do at least something. Have to talk some. At least sometimes. At least for 3 minutes. At least a paltry 30-words monologue.
XEV : But there's a splendid, charming dialogue for me and Stan. It's full of humor, it's so refined. Just wonderful. Only if Stan will be able to learn it.
STAN : Eh? What? Hush you all! I have to learn my cues. I tempt a supermarket storekeeper this time.
(And Stan continues to read the script.)

KAI : Who is the main, the most favorite and the highest-rating character, after all?
STAN (raising his head at once): Me!
XEV : Me!
790 : Xev!
XEV : The majority are in favor of me.
KAI (in injured tones): But what is for me?
790 : You 're our frozen meat. Go to the fridge.
Kai goes out, looking quite sad; nobody notices that.

: Well, let's start. Action!
KAI's VOICE : Exactly. Here is my action: I am out. You are on your own.
A VOICE : Well go! What a whim! Following Eva?
KAI's VOICE : Bye, Kai!
His wig floats across the screen.

XEV: I feel so lonely, so miserable... Doesn't it unfair? I want to live full-blooded life.

Stan steps in.
STAN : Who's talking about fairness?
XEV : I am. Life is unfair.
STAN : By the way, you multiply this unfairness by treating me like... like...
790 : ...like the sack of organic garbage.

Stan kicks 790, and 790 goes flying off the screen.
STAN (maliciously): The whole world is unfair.
XEV (with reproach): Why have you done this?
STAN : Me? Not at all! It's he who have. He calls me all the wrost sorts of names. Well, enough. I am renewed Stan. I'm going to be brave, proud, strong... AND, above all, I'm living.
XEV : Renewed Stan? Why? But if Kai were alive... He IS brave, proud and strong.
STAN : But I am...
790's VOICE : Stan, Stan and only Stan.
XEV: Well, that's enough. I'm going to see Kai.

Xev is in front of the Kai 's pod.

XEV : Oh Kai I'm quite alone here. And you're in this damn box. And you don't want to be alive not in the least. And you even don't want to pretend a tiny bit as if you're alive...

CLOSE-UP OF THE KAI'S CRYO-POD. The pod is... EMPTY. (But nobody notices that.)

XEV: I had been bearing this all for such a long time, but that's enough. It's time for action.

Xev presses buttons on the pod's control panel with the expression of the ultmost determination on her face. The pod's lid opens... there's nobody inside the pod!

A hysterical howl off screen. Something banged. Somebody sniffs. The image on the screen sways.

MALE VOICE: Where's McManus?
ANOTHER VOICE: But you let him go!
XEV: Where's my Kai?

Stan rushes in with 790 in his arms.
790 (rolls his eyes in fury): You, dead man, take your dead hands off of my Xev !
STAN: Kai, what are you doing??? And you, Xev...
Suddenly he stops short and stares dumbfounded at the empty pod, then at Xev and the at someone beyond the objective.

STAN: Hey, what's going on?
THE FISRST MALE VOICE: McManus has just run away.
790: And what I've been telling you about all this time, Xev? Nobody will love you more then I will. But you are obsessed with the dead body.

Stan bumps 790 with his fist.
STAN: Shut up with your cues. We're in deeeep trouble.
HOWL FROM OFF SCREEN: Are you crazy, dull-brain? It does hurts! What's that got to do with me???
STAN: Oh, sorry Jeffrey. Just've got the feel of my part.
THE SAME HOWL: It's not according to the script to bump on the head in this scene, anyway! I have no time to put on a helmet!
790: Exactly. He have no time and you've just missed yours!

A huge pack bound with a rope falls down from up high blowing on Stan 's head. Stan sways but still able to stand.

STAN: Hey, you tin can with eyes, first get a body!
XEV(crying): Damn you Brunnen-G,.. damn you Michael... my sweetheart... Where are you? You've ruined such an episode!..
STAN: Now, now, don't cry. There's plenty of time. Let us pass this scene and then...
XEV: And you Tweedle... The scene at that supermarket is all you dream of! And who's gonna dream of me? What was Kai thinking about when running away?
STAN: Michael.
XEV(pouting): Oh yes, Michael. But what's the difference? They're both out of their minds.

790 drives up on his trolley.
790: They're might be OK. But definitely they are dead. But I am not.
XEV: So what's wrong with that? They love me anyway...
790: ...according to the script.
STAN: he's right. It's exclusively the dead's business.
790: But where's MY Zev???
STAN: OUR Zev!!!
790: Blue-eyed...
STAN: ...blue-haired...
790: ...blue-underweared...
STAN and 790: ...Zev???
XEV(injured): Well, what's the problem? I would be more blue-haired then she was. If I wished.
And Xev goes off the screen. Everybody hears the door slamed.

STAN (quietly): You would be good for the pattern then.
790: Oh yes, she has the proper pattern...
STAN (giggles): ...from below her neck in particular.

Kai sits alone on the Lexx's head.

KAI: My, it is impossible to read the script in the weightlessness. All the sheets are mixed up. Well, there is #1, then #2... Where is #3 ? (Rummages through the sheets.) ...This is #13. But where's #3? (Continues to rummage.) ...Oh, here it is at last! (Reads.) "Xev: Oh, Kai! I am quite alone here...", then "...It's time for action!"... Wait a bit...Oh, my, here is a large part for me in the episode! ...Wait a second...Oh my! It's romantic... just erotic one. Oh what a monologue! I am coming back immidately.

Kai is in the middle of the empty set. There's nobody else around. There're sheets of the script and crumpled papers all around. Stan's hat is nearby.
KAI: It seems it turned to be a trouble. And of course I am the one to blame in their opinion. I am lucky I am dead: I could have been put out. Besides I am a quick- witted one... unlike... (mutters something and hides himself in his pod. Then falls asleep.)

Lexx cruises in the night.

Xev rushes from left to right followed by Stan with 790 in his arms.
Stan rushes from right to left followed by Xev with 790 in her arms.
Stan rushes from one corner to another caring Xev in his arms and followed by 790 on his trolley.
Xev zigzags along the set caring Stan who holds 790 in her arms; they followed by 790's trolley with Kai's wig on it. Zev stumbles and they all fall on the floor.

XEV(in tears) : I can't take this anymore! Certainly, he left us for another show.
790: That's it, that's it! Run for a Kai-show. Well, one dead less...
STAN: You, shut up.
790: Do not strike the head!!! (I have no helmet on yet.)
STAN (astonished): What ELSE can I strike???
XEV: Just don't touch him at all.
STAN: Is he an untouchable one? What for do we have him anyway?
790(in malicious tones): To moke you!
STAN: Xev, did you hear THAT? Do something. Just do something. Kai would...
XEV: Kai!..(bursts in tears) ...Kai would!.. Kai could!.. Who cares about Xev?
790 & STAN (in chorus): I care!

The cryo-pod opens suddenly.
KAI: You both, hands off of my Xev! (Xev's face is brightened with joy at ones.) It is our time for erotic scene.
STAN (in a vile manner): Don't you want to put on your wig first?
KAI: Oops.
XEV(in hurry): Michael, I'll help you. And you both don't you hear what he says? Off of me!
She grabs the wig and helps Kai to put it on straight. Now they are ready for shooting.

KAI: Oh Xev!
XEV: Oh Kai!
KAI: Oh Xenia!
XEV: Oh Michael!

The screen's getting dark.

The time is over!
We are cut off!
It's all because of Tweedle!
No way! It's McManus fault!
Let's kick Lex!
Just you wait, Hirshfield!


And he sees stars in the shape of puny Gigas.



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