[Breakdown] [Lyekka's Tirm]
    [Escape]русский оригинал

Migthy Lexx cruises in the void.

Stanley sits on the floor. 790 is nearby.

STAN: So what should I do next to make my life meaningful? Just can’t imagine.
790: …dull-brain-laughing-stock of the two Universes…
STAN (with reproach): What? Again?
790 (maliciously): I mean a brainy one like you should have much more vivid imagination… about what to do.
STAN: Well… I could wake up Kai but he’s just went to his pod… You know I have hard life. Hardly fall asleep than Lyekka comes and demands to find some food… or me to be her food… I suppose. And Xev is fixed on “ wake up Kai , Stanley” or “make him alive, Stanley”…” help him, Stanley”. …Can she still transform herself into lizard? What do you think, 790?
790: Why should I know? I am not the Supreme Beans. And I demand you to stop blaming Xev. Or I am going to recite my poems!
STAN: But why does she tease me? She loves the dead guy, why doesn’t she stick to him?

Suddenly Kai enters at a quick swinging strides.
KAI: Stanley, you are my only friend. Save me from them. Layeka disturbs my protobalance. I did not promise to feed her. And what has she done to Zev??? My only dead wish is to be left dead and alone… Stanley don’t you mind me to go out in space? I voyage outside from the moment. Nobody could disturb me there. Vacuum and loneliness are better then the cryo-pod they used to open in every two minutes.
STAN: But Kai… Xev loves you!... She does her best. …I believe …you…
KAI: I am dead. Absolutely and forever . Neither satellite worms nor plants like me. What for the Cluster lizards… The only thing they want is my brain. So what should I do???
STAN: Oh yes, perfectly. You’re decarbonized, perhaps you even have no nerves and it’s OK for you to travel outside. But what about me? What should I do???
STAN and KAI(together): What should we do???
790: Two idiots.
LEXX: As you wish, Stan.
790: Three idiots. The first is an exeptional one, the second one is with motivation, the third one is with initiative. So what should the poor robot head surrounded by these morons do? Oh where’s my Xev? Where’s my Xev? Where’s my… Zev???

XEV: Oh!… Kai was kidnapped!.. stealed... hi-jacked!…
LYEKKA: Xev dear, be calm… Just who in this series does need in the corpse called Kai, except you?
XEV: Everybody. They just don’t say this. Even Wist… She plunged worm into Stan but kissed Kai for free! …Or take His Shadow. It was obsessed with Kai… I believe it solicited him.
LYEKKA: Don’t you think he could just go out for a walk? …Don’t look at me like that. I am only a plant.
XEV: Oh no! Of cause not! I mean you’re not under suspiction, you were with me so you have your alibi.
LYEKKA: What is the “alibi”? A kind of aphes?

STAN (cowardly): Do we have to do this?
KAI (firmly): Yes, we have.
STAN: Is it worth it?
KAI: It is.
STAN: But what if...
KAI: Impossible.
STAN: Well… OK.

Kai raises his right hand with the wrist gadget holding Stan with his left one tight. Blast... and they take off up to the “ceiling” and seat themselves on a “wall chairs” there. Hardly they did it Xev and Lyekka came in.
XEV: Kai! Where are you? Kai, it’s me, Xev! I’m worried about you.
KAI (to Stan, quietly): Why don’t she worried about her hair? It reminds me of a Cluster electric besom.
Stan giggles then chokes. Kai knocks him on his back.
LYEKKA: Stanley! Let’s dance! Or… Let’s have a dinner? Oh where’s my hero?
STAN (to Kai, whispering): 790 might be right I am an idiot. Why do I not dream about some innocent rubber plants?
Kai giggles keeping his face set.
XEV: Kai!... (to Layeka) I am afraid something terrible happened to him…
KAI (to Stan): Strange things do used to happen to me… but, yes, THIS is really terible. It seems I miss Squish. …Oh!(excited) It’s new motivation!
LYEKKA: Stanley Tweedle, I’m here! I’m the girl from you dream!
STAN (quietly): Fade.
XEV: They are not around here. Let’s go check the galley.
They go out.
STAN: So, what’s the next?
KAI (with brutal expression on his face, bulging his eyes): The next... we are going to play POKER!
STAN: Wow! Do you really know how?!?!
KAI: I will teach you the most fascinating and archaic one: the Brunnen-G version.
STAN (rubs his hands): Oh great! Just the very thing.
KAI: I believe two days will be enough.
STAN: TWO days??? But what about my dinners? And suppers?
KAI: I suggest you to ask Lexx.
STAN (trying to scream and whisper at the same time): Lexx?
LEXX: Yes, Stanley.
STAN: Can I have dinner right here?
LEXX: Yes, Stanley.
STAN: Ccccool. …Ah…Lexx?
LEXX: Yes, Stanley.
STAN: Where we are? I mean what the place is it?
LEXX: It is His Shadow’s exclusive bar. Hard liquors and cocktailes 24 houres a day. The best selection of poisons. Hazelnut paste for beer only.
KAI: What about protoblood?
LEXX: The best protoblood, additions on demand.
KAI: Chart of the protoblood, please.
STAN: Yes, Lexx, Chart of the protoblood.
LEXX: Any strength from 0,5% to 99%; various motivations added. Special offer: 45%-protoblood contains motivations to high spirits, fun and black humor. A bit of the insect essence perfectly complement the bouquet.
STAN: Can’t it be without the essence?
LEXX: As you request, Stan.

A fleshy “table” comes out from the fleshy “wall”. Glasses, plates, yamy dishes and deck of cards are on it. Stan and Kai take one gulp of the ordered drinks after another, eat and slap the cards on the table.

Lexx peacefuly flies by.

Xev, Lyekka and 790 are at the bridge.

XEV (deep in memories): It could seems so strange… There are some things I can hardly recall. I remember me being Cluster lizard…then I give the key to Stan… and then there’s only dim light around me and somebody howls, wails and cries calling my name. …And the next thing I remember I am on the floor and my dead Kai is nearby. First I thought it’s heaven… then it’s hell… and then I saw Stanly and 790 and understood at once that I am on the Lexx… Kai…
790: Xev, my dear, neither Kai nor Stan… No one of these morons fits to be your company.
I am the only one who is devoted you,
regardless of your hair-do.

XEV: …Will they come back, 790?
790: Hope not.
Xev sighs. Lyekka keeps silent and looks sadly at Stan’s usual place: at the captain’s “chair” in the middle of the bridge.

One week later.
Lyekka, wasted and pale, sits near the capitan's "chair". Xev cries over small dirty rag torn one day from Kai's old suit.

All day with Xev Xev
All day long I spare
In peace and joy
At her I stare
Hardly able to breath
We're alone. What a relief!
Thanks Stanley and Kai
They leave us to I can fly.

Suddenly Kai bursts in. He roars with laughter and drags Stan (who giggles and waves his hands abaut). They both arre unsteady on thier legs.
XEV: Kai! What happened to you???
LYEKKA: Dead thing, what have you done to my Stanley???
KAI and STAN (stand up stright at attention at once, in chorus) : We woship His Divine Shadow!
Then right after this sing the Brunnen-G's Yo-A-O with Tirol trills, weak-jointed. Xev and Layeka exchange glances.
XEV: Bachelors.
790 (from his coner): Drunks.
XEV and LYEKKA: So what should we do to them?
790: I suggest to thow them into space.

Thunder is heard: drunked Lexx has just destroyed one more planet on his way. The floor rocks. Kai and Stan fall down on the floor side by side. Stan snores laudly, Kai just lies dead.
XEV: Well... At least they are here.
LYEKKA (in compassion): Poor humans!..
XEV: I guess fresh air, some wholesome food and pleasant company will help them.

(as the final credits scrolling by:)
Kai is in the cryo- pod.

KAI: I can remember I drunk protoblod... I lost for three Stanley's wishes... but I can not recall how it happened I am here now... ...I believe the protoblood was of low quality. Is it possible to get poisoned with the low-quality protoblood?

Stanley lies at his sleeping chamber with cold wet T-short on his forehead.
STAN(his voice is weak and husky)
: Xev... Zev?.. Were's Kai? ...Is everything allright with him?.. Xev... you must go and see if he's OK... I told him not to taste those Giga poisons!...

Lexx dissapiars in the void. Space is quiet and peaceful: ther's no Mantrid. He ended his days one episode back Now ther's nobody in the Universe to advertise the Lepsi cola production.



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